MAC

Today was another PW day. It was supposed to be productive, but it definitely was not. BUT it was really one FUN day. Really laughed so much today! First time in my J1 life so slack for PW. Haha! Saw a lot of pictures on Karina's computer! (Thank you Karina for lending me your laptop ok? Love you! =DD) And thank you to Evil Zhi Lin for buying me that starfruit juice for my poor throat! Although it was not nice, I really appreciate your xin yi! (Notice I took away the "Stingy" from your name? It was supposed to be EVIL STINGY ZHI LIN. You treat me to dinner after OP lah, then I'll take away the EVIL!) And thanks to Angeline for being my nutritionist for today, advising me what NOT to eat so that my throat can recover in time for OP on Thurs. Cheer up ok girl? The whole world is not against you. TJ030 will always support you.

After PW, Vincent, Jason, Benson, Huiru, Zhi Lin and I went to Bedok Mac. We were supposed to watch movie, but the only "normal movie"-The Seeker started at like 7.45pm. So late! All the rest were horror movie, and Vincent said that we shouldd not scare ourselves when it is so near to Oral Presentation. And Benson kept saying he wants to watch "The Last Breath", some scary horror movie. YES! CG07, we must catch midnight show during our chalet ok? Preferably horror movies! =)

Then we decided to play Truth or Dare at Macs. Really very funny! Then suddenly, Jon, JW and Bai Zhi Peng joined us... and everyone outcasted BZP. Haha! I think we were so LOUD, especially JW :) Surely TJC going to receive complain letter this week. And for once, the complain letter is not supposed to be for Pasir Ris Sec people. (PS: I HEARD that because TJ uniform and Pasir Ris Sec uniform are so similiar, the public always send complain letters to TJ when it's the Pasir Ris Sec people at fault. This is what I HEARD ok? Not I say de!)

Reached home at 8, and I got scolded because I brought the newspaper with me when I went out this morning. Apparently my dad couldn't find that newspaper and he was very angry :((

Emotionally weak

I haven't blogged for a really long time. About 7 months have passed. The last time I blogged, PW has not started. And now, it is going to end. I guess PW has made me realised what sort of person I am, and I realised I am really a very emotionally weak person. For the past 4 years in Secondary School, I have never cried in school over projects and exams and whatnot. Just ask Elisse =)) I THOUGHT I was strong, but I guessed I was wrong. For the past 7 months, I shed so many tears for PW, and sometimes, I'm just sad and dissapointed that I don't get the support from my group members. I must admit that sometimes I was really super irritated, and it shows on my face. I don't deny that PW strains relationships, but it also brought us closer if we are able to overcome these obstacles. I guess I'm much closer to my group members after PW, but I know they also saw the "bad side" of me. I was so glad when we handed up the Written Report, and it is really a load of my shoulders.

I'm getting very weak. I can sense that a breakdown is coming. Sometimes, I tend to bottle up all my feelings. I bottled it up for 4 years. I NEVER shed a tear during farewell and graduation, and instead I tend to find people who shed tears easily to be a bit silly. Can't they put things in perspective? But, I have become such a person since coming to JC. I cry so easily now. PW stress- CRY. Mrs Goh leaving- cry. The only thing I haven't cried for are about my studies and friends. Sometimes, I feel like a total failure because I am so emotionally weak. How can you lead your group if you cannot stand the stress? How can you survive in the industry in future. Hopeless.

I really think I have failed my group. Maybe I have overestimated myself. Mrs Ang once showed us a story about an egg, carrot and coffee bean. CG0707 people should know what this story is about.

I am a CARROT. I went in strong, but after being immersed in boiling water, I turned soft inside. I once saw an email, and there was one phrase which made me reflect a lot.

"The one who looks strongest on the outside is often the weakest inside."