Emotionally weak

I haven't blogged for a really long time. About 7 months have passed. The last time I blogged, PW has not started. And now, it is going to end. I guess PW has made me realised what sort of person I am, and I realised I am really a very emotionally weak person. For the past 4 years in Secondary School, I have never cried in school over projects and exams and whatnot. Just ask Elisse =)) I THOUGHT I was strong, but I guessed I was wrong. For the past 7 months, I shed so many tears for PW, and sometimes, I'm just sad and dissapointed that I don't get the support from my group members. I must admit that sometimes I was really super irritated, and it shows on my face. I don't deny that PW strains relationships, but it also brought us closer if we are able to overcome these obstacles. I guess I'm much closer to my group members after PW, but I know they also saw the "bad side" of me. I was so glad when we handed up the Written Report, and it is really a load of my shoulders.

I'm getting very weak. I can sense that a breakdown is coming. Sometimes, I tend to bottle up all my feelings. I bottled it up for 4 years. I NEVER shed a tear during farewell and graduation, and instead I tend to find people who shed tears easily to be a bit silly. Can't they put things in perspective? But, I have become such a person since coming to JC. I cry so easily now. PW stress- CRY. Mrs Goh leaving- cry. The only thing I haven't cried for are about my studies and friends. Sometimes, I feel like a total failure because I am so emotionally weak. How can you lead your group if you cannot stand the stress? How can you survive in the industry in future. Hopeless.

I really think I have failed my group. Maybe I have overestimated myself. Mrs Ang once showed us a story about an egg, carrot and coffee bean. CG0707 people should know what this story is about.

I am a CARROT. I went in strong, but after being immersed in boiling water, I turned soft inside. I once saw an email, and there was one phrase which made me reflect a lot.

"The one who looks strongest on the outside is often the weakest inside."