MAC

Today was another PW day. It was supposed to be productive, but it definitely was not. BUT it was really one FUN day. Really laughed so much today! First time in my J1 life so slack for PW. Haha! Saw a lot of pictures on Karina's computer! (Thank you Karina for lending me your laptop ok? Love you! =DD) And thank you to Evil Zhi Lin for buying me that starfruit juice for my poor throat! Although it was not nice, I really appreciate your xin yi! (Notice I took away the "Stingy" from your name? It was supposed to be EVIL STINGY ZHI LIN. You treat me to dinner after OP lah, then I'll take away the EVIL!) And thanks to Angeline for being my nutritionist for today, advising me what NOT to eat so that my throat can recover in time for OP on Thurs. Cheer up ok girl? The whole world is not against you. TJ030 will always support you.

After PW, Vincent, Jason, Benson, Huiru, Zhi Lin and I went to Bedok Mac. We were supposed to watch movie, but the only "normal movie"-The Seeker started at like 7.45pm. So late! All the rest were horror movie, and Vincent said that we shouldd not scare ourselves when it is so near to Oral Presentation. And Benson kept saying he wants to watch "The Last Breath", some scary horror movie. YES! CG07, we must catch midnight show during our chalet ok? Preferably horror movies! =)

Then we decided to play Truth or Dare at Macs. Really very funny! Then suddenly, Jon, JW and Bai Zhi Peng joined us... and everyone outcasted BZP. Haha! I think we were so LOUD, especially JW :) Surely TJC going to receive complain letter this week. And for once, the complain letter is not supposed to be for Pasir Ris Sec people. (PS: I HEARD that because TJ uniform and Pasir Ris Sec uniform are so similiar, the public always send complain letters to TJ when it's the Pasir Ris Sec people at fault. This is what I HEARD ok? Not I say de!)

Reached home at 8, and I got scolded because I brought the newspaper with me when I went out this morning. Apparently my dad couldn't find that newspaper and he was very angry :((

Emotionally weak

I haven't blogged for a really long time. About 7 months have passed. The last time I blogged, PW has not started. And now, it is going to end. I guess PW has made me realised what sort of person I am, and I realised I am really a very emotionally weak person. For the past 4 years in Secondary School, I have never cried in school over projects and exams and whatnot. Just ask Elisse =)) I THOUGHT I was strong, but I guessed I was wrong. For the past 7 months, I shed so many tears for PW, and sometimes, I'm just sad and dissapointed that I don't get the support from my group members. I must admit that sometimes I was really super irritated, and it shows on my face. I don't deny that PW strains relationships, but it also brought us closer if we are able to overcome these obstacles. I guess I'm much closer to my group members after PW, but I know they also saw the "bad side" of me. I was so glad when we handed up the Written Report, and it is really a load of my shoulders.

I'm getting very weak. I can sense that a breakdown is coming. Sometimes, I tend to bottle up all my feelings. I bottled it up for 4 years. I NEVER shed a tear during farewell and graduation, and instead I tend to find people who shed tears easily to be a bit silly. Can't they put things in perspective? But, I have become such a person since coming to JC. I cry so easily now. PW stress- CRY. Mrs Goh leaving- cry. The only thing I haven't cried for are about my studies and friends. Sometimes, I feel like a total failure because I am so emotionally weak. How can you lead your group if you cannot stand the stress? How can you survive in the industry in future. Hopeless.

I really think I have failed my group. Maybe I have overestimated myself. Mrs Ang once showed us a story about an egg, carrot and coffee bean. CG0707 people should know what this story is about.

I am a CARROT. I went in strong, but after being immersed in boiling water, I turned soft inside. I once saw an email, and there was one phrase which made me reflect a lot.

"The one who looks strongest on the outside is often the weakest inside."

Umm...sorry for not updating for so long. I was and still am very busy. The past week has NOT been a NICE one for me. Mon- went for DSTA interview, which I probably won't get in. Tue-went for GIC-TJC interview, which I didn't get in. (Congrats to our future scholars Hanliang and Jason! Somebody teach me interview skills pls.) Thursday went for tourism club interview. Sigh, I seriously don't know what PDP to join. Tourism club OR LEO? Tourism club AND Leo? I know both are supposedly slack PDPs, but FOI (acronym!) Leo is not a slack CCA please, 2 days a week plus saturdays if there are activities. -.-" Somemore I'm running for SC. I need a back up plan in case SC don't work out. I heard that this year 100 people are running for SC. WOW! This J1 batch is an enthu batch. Continue my story: Friday got back my first ever GP introduction and I got 0.5/5!!! FAILED SO BADLY!!! It's like my worst ever english grade! LOL! :) Must buck up Carol!!!

Then on this monday, we found out that PI (acronym for Preliminary Idea) for PW (acronym for Project work) must be submitted this friday! HUH!?! I haven't thought of my groundbreaker! DIE DIE DIE! Never mind, I shall remain optimistic and maybe an idea will come into my head when I'm sleeping. That always happens for me. That's why I always think of stuff before I sleep (ie. lying on the bed) and when I wake up, there will be realisation!!!! WOO!!!

Today was Jonathan's birthday! HAPPY BIRTHDAY JONATHAN! Hope you like the bolster! Dream of 07/07 when you are sleeping! LOL! Yup, then during morning assembly, I saw Jason didn't carry anything on his hands. Then I asked him "Where's Jonathan's present" He proceeded to give a very shocked *0* face, then say he forgot to bring, and he still blamed ME for not bringing the present home that time on thurs when we went to buy Jon's present. After like 5 minutes, then he say "You think the present caanot fit into my bag meh?" I STILL STONE FOR A WHILE BEFORE I REALISED WHAT HE MEANT. Cheat me -.- .

Then during Chem today Jason say why I never update for so long. I said no time. Then Benson said "去(qu)hub blog" Then we heard it as "Chee huat blog" I was like 'huh???' Okay. I know this is random.

interview and other random stuff

Woots. Just received a mail from Defence Science and Technology Agency (DSTA). I'm shortlisted for an interview on Monday 11am. That means I'll have to miss Chem and Econs lectures...And it's all the way there at Buona Vista! 16 stops from Bedok MRT! (YES, I just referred to my wonderful map). And my interview skills is horrible and terrible! To think that I took part in debate competition before in TKGS. We even got through to the second round! WOO! But my oral skills is still very very bad. :( I want to be able to speak as well as Jonathan!

I remembered during O levels English Oral; I was such a nervous wreck that when it was my turn, I smiled so brightly to the examiner and exclaimed 'Good Morning TEACHERS!' Then the examiners looked shocked for a moment and remarked 'Woah. So excited huh.' -_-; I was so embarrassed!!! LOL!

Anyway, back to the topic. I really hope everything goes well on Monday, and I will be able to stay in this rocking class! CG07/07 rocks! I want to be able to stand in the same line as all of you during morning assembly, eat lunch and recess with all of you, mug with you (Note to Jinzhi and Jason: Remember our usual table?), crap with all of you over the next 2 years! I had so much fun with CG07/07 that I cannot fanthom life in another CG. I was already very upset when Desmond and Caroline left. :( Therefore, I really hope that all of us can remain as ONE CG!

Econs lectures

I have been slacking throughout the holidays. 5 days (including sat and sun) have gone and I have achieved nothing at all! RAHH; This is so ridiculous! The only 'academic' thing that I have been doing is going back to school faithfully for Econs make up lecture. Seriously, I find the Econs makeup lectures better than the lectures that I have attended for the past 3 months. The lecturer goes at a much slower pace...and the people attending the lectures are less rowdy and there's not much disruption! Woots!

Mrs Ang was our lecturer for the first topic for Econs. And - my friends think that she is good! WOW! People in my CG should know what I mean. :) Today the HOD for Econs was lecturing about the chapter on 'Product Pricing', and there were 3 irritating people behind who keep on giving unconstructive comments.

Irritating person 1: "Aiyoh, why the lecturer go so slow de. How she finish
like that. Talk so much!"

Irritating person 2: "Yah lor. Somemore this chapter is so easy can."

Irritating person 3: "They really go so slow here at Tj can! Last time at
our school we already finished this chapter and go on to the next chapter liao lor."

-_-; I really can't tolerate people like that!

yes,another blog AGAIN

Woohoo! I set up another blog again, and this time, I will try my best to keep it alive. I had set up many many blogs before, the most recent one being a football blog, blogging about how I love Chelsea and how I hate Manchester United.

So why did I set up another blog this time? Cause I was so 'inspired' by Jason, Jinzhi, Desmond, Jonathan and Caroline! And I seriously need to start writing, or else I'm going to die horribly for GP! I haven't being speaking proper English for the past 3 months, and although my Chinese is improving tremondously, it serves no purpose at all. Like what Jonathan said, "We are not going to take Chinese anymore. But we still have two years of GP." Yup! 07/07!!! Let's make our 'Speak English Campaign' work! Sigh...but it's going to be so difficult now. Right now, whenever I see certain people (like Jinzhi, Angeline, Huiru, Zhilin and the majority of our CG), I will be yakking away to them in Chinese. The only person who I can converse to in English right now is Peishan and Jonathan!!!

Woohoo! (It's a bored woohoo, not a high woohoo) Orientation is finally over. O2 for me is really boring compared to O1. And I feel like I failed in my duty as an OGL. I didn't really get to know all my OGMs well, and I didn't managed to make OG7 bonded. After oreintation, I was feeling quite disappointed. :( Compare this to my mood before orientation- I was totally looking forward to O2, even staying back like 3 times a week for O2. And when we were makeing the tikis and learing mass dance, I was feeling so high!!! And it's quite sad that only 4 OGMs turned out for O night. But luckily, there are still some enthu people in our OG! Cheers to Fadilah, Ronald, Lye Huat, Xiang Rui and Patrick! :)

Shall continue to blog soon.